SuperPeeps… it has been too long. I apologize for my absence here.
If you are a fan of my Facebook page, you know we are still moseying along in our superhero world. If you aren’t, well, now you know and I appreciate you reading even if you’re pissed off because I’ve vanished for so long.
Here’s the thing…
I’ve got to start writing again and I just don’t know how.
Somewhere along the line I’ve lost confidence in my writing voice. I always think I have so much to say– when I’m in the shower. Pen and paper, computers and phones, none of these are particularly fond of water so I tell myself “remember this” and yeah, that never happens the way I would like. I have started many posts and then get distracted. When I go back to finish, it doesn’t seem genuine, or current, or… something. It ends up where all of my unpublished words go to die… the draft folder.
I figured the best way to start was to just… start. Here goes nothin’
The other day I picked Mr. Munchkin up from day camp. He had a great time and was telling me all about it then WHAM! Major meltdown. Like probably the worst he’s ever had. On the way home my heart was breaking. I was teary, fearful for his future, consumed with confusion, just all around stressed out!
When we crossed the bridge, I looked to the right and there it was… Mt. Rainier.
Its snowy peak stretching over the two tiny clouds that were sitting alone in the sky. I smiled.
Despite the anxiety and emotional coaster roller I was riding, I smiled. Despite the fear of what our child may or may not face in his future, I was able to let go for a moment and just revel in the beauty that surrounds me daily, grateful that I was able to feel it when I needed it most.
That’s when I realized that I always look for the Mountain. Always.
I look when it’s raining and the wipers are on high.
I look when it’s foggy and brake lights on the car in front of me a barely visible.
I look when the clouds are dispersed like an unfinished puzzle.
I look through trees and around curves.
I always look.
…And when I see it, I always smile.
Many times it’s completely pointless to look, I know that it’s not going to be visible through the downpour or in the dark but that doesn’t stop me from turning towards its fixed location. Maybe, just maybe I’ll see the outline, or something, you never know. So I look.
I’m not religious. In fact, I have a lot of problems around the subject of God. That being said, the feeling I get from seeing Mt. Rainier must be similar to what people describe about the peace and comfort they get from their Higher Power. Maybe this is a bit of a stretch? I would say yeah but the fact that I seek it out, the fact that I smile at its beauty and majesty every single time, tells me different. There is something about that Mountain that makes me feel connected. A tiny little particle among an infinite number of particles and somehow I feel significant, if for nothing else, maybe just to that little boy in the back seat.
Is there something that always makes you smile?
What do you seek?