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I heard the doorknob turn and a small voice… “TeeeTeeeee…  …TT….”
I was crashed out. Really crashed.
I couldn’t quite figure out if I was dreaming.

Last night I had fallen asleep, phone in hand while watching history happen through my Twitter feed.
At some point I had gotten familiar with the hashtag, #standwithwendy and just kept hitting refresh every minute. When the clock struck midnight, tweeters offered their praise regardless of outcome. A couple of minutes later pics of time stamps flooded the timeline, there was a discrepancy. I’m not so great at thinking after the kids are in bed so I had no idea what was happening. At 12:03am a tear ran down my cheek knowing that one brave woman, Wendy Davis, stood there and spoke for 13 hours in her pink running shoes filibustering an anti-abortion bill and she prevailed! Let me repeat that… Wendy Davis STOOD and SPOKE for THIRTEEN HOURS to protect a woman’s right to choose. This is a major victory in Texas! A true act of heroism!
At some point I dozed off while reading all the positive thoughts being sent to this tenacious woman.

“TT… cwawity one”
Huh? I manage to get one eye open and there’s the sweetest boy I know standing next to me smiling his little gap-toothed smile. I rub my eyes to get him into better focus.
“Cwawity one TT, cwawity one.”
Honey, I don’t know what you’re saying, can you say it slower?
“Caa waa wi ttyyy one”
Static pops through from the 2-way baby monitor then I hear Mommy say,
“DOMA… Prop 8… equality WON!”

Omg! You’re saying ‘equality won’? Oh my goodness… EQUALITY WON!!
“Yessss TT, cwawity won! Can you get up now?”

Yes son I’ll get up now. I’m up!

I let my head fall back on the pillow and let out a little whoop whoop and my eyes well up with happy tears. I can’t believe it! I seriously can’t believe it!
There next to me is a beautiful sleeping baby (yeah, she slept through all of that) and I can’t help but feel such an overwhelming amount of hope for her future; for the future of all of our kids. No matter who these little ones love, they will have the legal standing, protections and responsibilities that they deserve. We ALL have that now.

Wake up little one, equality won.
Can you believe it?
I can’t believe it.
Lets go downstairs.
“dowwwstays, otay”
I pick up the sleepy girl and head down to watch the the news coverage and celebrations. Our young family bunches together for a group hug.
I cry.
I really cry.

One of my many defense mechanisms is to trick myself into ‘not caring’ about something, even if it holds the highest of importance. I don’t make a big deal out of things because the past has proven that big deals mean big disappointments.
I magically pretended, convinced myself even, that being married to my partner didn’t matter. Once the information truly sunk in, I felt my insides soften. Just the idea that we can be legally married and fully recognized has strengthened my love for her because as I was tricking myself into not caring, I was also closing off the part of me that was most vulnerable.

Edith Windsor and Thea Spyer spent over four decades together before they were able to be legally married in their state. Not having the federal protections and exemptions that different sex couples had, when Thea Spyer passed away, Edith had to pay over $300,000 in federal estate taxes.
She did not slink away as I’m sure was expected. She fought.
The opposition was strong against her and she fought.
Today she won!
Because she won, we all win.

Thank you Edith Windsor! You are braver than I. You have lived with discrimination twice as long as I have and yet remained hopeful for change. You fought for change and you won. Your legacy will live on forever.
My children WILL know your name!

DOMA was struck down! Prop 8 was dismissed!
Hate has been defeated once again!

I love my partner.
I love my children.
I love my country.

Love always prevails!